|
Connect and Trust...Introducing an Easy Self-Help Technique
by Liz Temple
Introduction and Background
This is a simple procedure to address painful, self-destructive emotions, and the obstacles that prevent us reaching our goals. It can be therefore used to deal with stress and other emotional tensions and doubts and fears that prevent us acting in the best possible way to achieve.
It involves getting into a practice of being aware of our painful feelings and having the intention of dealing with them pro-actively. This straight away gives us control of them, rather than avoiding or denying them to cope. Often, we have good intention of letting go of an emotion, but we find it difficult to do this. This is a simple technique to address this.
We can use this technique on the spot when a difficult emotion shows up, but it's most powerful use is when we orchestrate an emotional response by thinking of a situation past or future. This can be negative or positive but the idea is to deliberately bring up any tension associated with it and neutralise it.
It makes use of the assumption that we have a wiser part of us that is all knowing,and that our fearful human ego often gets in the way of this and obscures our view. Some may call this our higher self, core intelligence or intuition. (From now on, referred to as 'wiser self'.) Once we have made a clear intention, this part does not argue, but obeys. This is who we really are. When this is obscured by the tension and fear of our more human side, this undoes the intention. That means it works against what we want. We need a method of connecting with this wiser self, and disconnecting with our tension before we can reach a calm, clear view of solutions to our problems. Otherwise, we will always act on our tension, created and replayed over as we go through life.
The idea is to reduce the fear and tension that gets in the way of our wiser self. It's like we have to cut through the unwanted vegetation in the jungle to clear a path to the treasure chest.
Meditation and relaxation does this generally, by changing our brainwaves so the fearful ego side of us is neutralised and disconnected. This process is different because it is targeted to specific areas of tension. By putting attention on something we wish to achieve, or a situation that creates a specific uncomfortable feeling, then the connect and trust process neutralises the tension.
The Connect and Trust Process
The procedure for reducing the tension in 'connect and trust' is as follows:
1. The 'Connect and Trust' Initial Intention is that whenever we use our connection process, we will transform any tension we feel at the time to a state of relaxation and clarity of mind and body, and connect straight to our wiser self, safely, gently and easily.
2. The Connection Process is learned to signal the instruction to transform tension and connect with our wiser self. It acts as a switch to turn off the tension.
3. The Intention Statement is made to put attention on our goal of something we want or a feeling attached to a problem we want to deal with.
4. The Trust Statements are essential to connection to the true wiser self. 'Trust' is a state of non-tension that clears the path. They address common obstacles we meet in the process of change. Making the trust statements with intent to calm any tension felt while making them by using the connection process will help to deal with the doubts and fears that sabotage our progress. That tension will manifest as a feeling that we are not telling the truth when we say the statements. In fact, we can be quite precise about how true the statements feel to us when we say them. If we want, we can give them a percentage score for how true. If they have a low score, eg 50%, the idea is that we work on releasing that tension to get the statement to feel 100% true. Then the obstacles to our goal are all taken away, giving us insight from our wiser self unhampered by our ego.
The Connection Process
This involves a verbal cue using your own name. A visual and tactile cue can be used too at the same time to make it more effective.
Verbal cue: “Connect, Liz” repeated 3 times...Replace 'Liz' with your own name.
Visual cue: A picture of a smiley face, in neon lights if you like. Or an image of your choice.
Tactile cue: A gentle scrape of your thumbnail at the tip of a finger.
All 3 can be done simultaneously.From now on referred to as 'connect'.
Usually, a few seconds are allowed before moving on to the next statement so any tension can be released fully from the body. It can be quite noticable, and can manifest as sighing, muscles relaxing or yawning. The more we practice this, the easier it becomes.
The Intention Statement
This is made to focus on what we want. (Either to deal with a difficult emotion or a goal)It starts with, “I am ready and willing to achieve.....”, or, “ I am ready and willing to get over this feeling or problem”
Next, we go through the connection process with the cues.
The Trust Statements
Next, go through the following trust statements:
“I believe it is possible I can do it.” Then connect.
“It is safe to make the change,” Then connect.
“I deserve to do this.” Then connect.
“I am patient that improvement will come.” Then connect.
“I am grateful for the chance to learn and grow from this.” Then connect.
Example:
You want to lose weight, but even though you know what to do, you can't seem to keep to it. Try this:
Intention statement: I am willing and ready to achieve my target weight.
Now use your connection process. (verbal, visual and tactile cues)
Trust Statements: I believe this is possible.....connect
It is safe.....connect
I deserve it.....connect
I am patient that improvement will come.....connect
I am grateful for the chance to learn from this......connect
Try doing this daily for a few days.
If there are any of the statements that feel untrue, concentrate on those specifically and repeat your connection process several times till you feel calm about it.
If any new tensions in the form of doubts or objections come up, give that attention and go through the process with them.
Example of a difficult feeling:
Go through the same process, saying:
“I am ready and willing to get over this feeling/ problem.
Then follow with the trust statements. Remember to spend a bit more time connecting if any of the statements feel untrue.
Remember, all we are doing is replacing tension with calmness and clarity so we can always remain objective and safe.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________ | 
